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1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
 financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2.  Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

4. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
 of breaking down in the near future

5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.